As seen on: Gizmodo, MSN.com

As seen on: Gothamist, AV Club, Gizmodo, Buzzfeed, UPROXX, Huffington Post

Since 2011, I’ve compiled and edited over 30 supercuts for web culture blog Slacktory & My Damn Channel.  We’ve learned what works, and what doesn’t.  We’ve compiled over 1 Million YouTube views and the more popular ones have been featured on Buzzfeed, HuffPost Comedy,Uproxx, MNSBC.com, Vulture, Grantland, E! Online, Jezebel, The Today Show and The Daily What.

Credits: Co-Producer, Editor, Animator

*If YouTube were around during my tweenage years, I would have totally posted a Blink-182 Room Tour and about 10,000 other embarrassing things that would have haunted me for the rest of my days.  Every day I thank God Above for creating YouTube while I was about to enter college.

As Seen On: Gizmodo, AV Club, Team Coco, Huffington Post, College Humor

(Note: I omitted this one, because it’s produced by an actual production team that does this sort of thing for a living.  I’m giving credit to the little guys, here.  Keep doing your thing, nerds).

“We Found Love” by Rihanna
I don’t exactly know which GoT character the gay is trying to play here. Jamie Lannister maybe? If so, the breakdown at 1:08 is truly the gayest & nerdiest thing I’ve ever seen.

“I’m Glad You Came” by The Wanted
Not only do these fellas try to fit “Winter is Coming” into four syllables, but they also turn Ned Stark’s beheading into a jovial moment at 1:37.

“Stay” by Rihanna
Honestly, a lot of thought went into these lyrics. The girl who plays Khalessi even sings in Dothraki at 2:12. I just don’t know why they adjusted the tempo of Rihanna’s original. I would have sat through a longer version of this. It’s brilliant. Even dragons need a daddy, it’s true.

“That’s What Makes You Beautiful” by One Direction
This one is so bad. Did some boys record this in their basement over a “punk-rock” instrumental of “What Makes You Beautiful.” Good god. Give up, guys.

You know it. You hate it. “We Are Farmers.” Bum Badum Bum Bum Bum Bum.

Like a crackhead wandering the streets for a fix, I decided to satisfy my need today:

And satisfied I was.

I’m sure glad the Farmer’s Insurance YouTube channel has taken advantage of its annoying logo.   This is truly great marketing right here.  Not only did they subject this man to it, but they also made an entire youth orchestra perform “We Are Farmers.”

And as it turns out, a lot of people have sampled “We Are Farmers.”  At first, this one sounds like it could be a beat for Lil Wayne if Lil Wayne sounded like a barking dog.  But nice try, Zeke Zelecta.  I certainly enjoy the airhorn at 2:06

I realize this is “unfinesh”-d, but it is not nearly as good as the previous one.  Still, a novel attempt.  I could get down to this if I were in the club.

About two minutes into my #Spiral, I realized a rapper named “Three Loco”, with the help of Diplo and Andy Milonakis, actually sampled “We Are Farmers” in a rather inappropriate track where Andy Milonakis talks about sticking a dildo in some fish food.  But I guess you have to expect that kind of thing if you’re clicking on such garbage.

Apparently they had to change the song to “We Are Llamas.”  According to Three Loco, ” Farmers Insurance Want $200,000 For the sample rights on a freedownload tune. I say Fuck Farmers Insurance what a bunch of bitches.”

BONUS SKATE VIDEO set to “WE ARE FARMERS.” SHRED IT, BRO.

I’d also post the Farmer Style (Gangnam Style Parody) video that came up in my suggested videos panel, but…  I just can’t.

This video establishes what I consider to be the perfect Dutty Wine.  He starts out subtle and slow, builds and “wines it up,” enters the split, and pops his booty with the greatest of ease.

A very lackluster Wikipedia article describes the Dutty Wine’s early history:

“Dutty Wine” is a head dance. There are several dancers in Jamaica who claim they were its creator. Although there is proof in a video with one of the crowned Dancehall Queens named Mad Michelle first performing the dance in front of a crowd.

Mad Michelle, whose real name is Ann Marie McKoy, comments on the origins in this article from the Jamaica Star from 2006

“Mi nuh really waan mek no comment pertaining to it because it causing a lot of controversy. If yuh want to know who build Dutty Wine, watch the Dancehall Queen 2003 DVD…. Mi nuh really waan cause no conflict, people haffi mek dem own decision. Mi neva give it no name, it was jus my style as Mad Michelle. I just dance, I’m a creative person…”

While the origins of the Dutty Wine are unclear, its popularity was spearheaded by reggae artist Tony Matterhorn in his 2007 single, “Dutty Wine.”

Mr. Matterhorn’s lyrics and the accompanying music video give clear instructions on how complete a successful Dutty Wine cycle.

“Bend your back and lift your head up
Turn side way lift your leg up
Bend your face and twist it up
And turn true side like you know you fed up”

A helpful guide was also written by the illustrious experts at Wikihow, which I will now dissect with accompanying .gifs

Obviously, improvisation is essential to the Dutty Wine and no two Winers are the same.

Rihanna teaches a gay man how to use the Dutty Wine. While she plays to the camera, she stresses the importance of relaxing your head while Duttying.

This is a more traditional Jamaican Dutty Wine, done by a girl in her college dorm room.  Clearly, the bunk beds make it difficult to do the full split but she works with what she’s got.

Though it proves very difficult and takes months of practice, white people can also do the Dutty Wine.

Kids of all ages can do the Dutty Wine!  It is fun for the entire family.

You can even start teaching your baby how to Dutty Wine before they learn how to walk!

“Dutty Wine Gone Wrong” is a very popular youtube video where an advanced Dutty Winer falls through the stage after the first minute.  The risks of the Dutty Wine have been well-documented after the dance killed Tanisha Henry, an 18 year-old resident Jamaican student.   After the widespread popularity of the dance grew during 2007, medical professionals “voiced concerns about the possibility of serious injuries from the swinging head-rotations which are a key feature of the dance.”

During the most spectacular televised event in history, Beyonce risked her life to raise Dutty Wine awareness in America. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is one of America’s most generous sacrifices.